a body of poetry, a body of hate

Stars in my eyes as I pull myself off the bathroom floor

Each time this happens, I promise myself, “No more.”

I swear I know better, but I’m no better than before

 

Like an addict I am drawn back to the high it provides

Head pounding, world spinning, weight off my thighs

This is just another excuse, just another disguise 

 

I begin to wash my hands, my face

But nothing gets rid of the taste

And as I look in the mirror, grip my waist

 

I swear to myself I want to recover

But this eating disorder does nothing but hover

I wonder if my health I’ll ever rediscover 

 

Once it’s all over, I hate myself even more

The fat I tried flushing away feels more prominent than before

And those calories I ingested, I’m still responsible for

 

There is no right answer to this disease 

And it never ceases to bring me to my knees

I want a way out, please give me the keys